Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
