I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
