Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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