did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
