if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
