:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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