just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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