When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
