She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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