TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
