I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You have to summon your inner elephant
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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