Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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