Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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