In America we eat man semen.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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