so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
