we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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