somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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