i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
