i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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