used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
