Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
