the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
