So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
