he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
