She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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