ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
