He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
