3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
