Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
