My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
