And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
