Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
