So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
