so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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