Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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