you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
