I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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