She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
