I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
