Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
