i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
