Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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