That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize