Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
