we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So many bounce houses so little time
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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