watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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