Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
