Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
