Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You ate ashes out of my bong
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
