I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
