ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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